Reflection of Mulan A warrior and a Princess

I believe I was one of the very few students in our course who was not repulsed or sensitive to Bettelheim. I found myself agreeing with him on some not all of his theories and analysis. The paper allowed me to see Mulan, one of my favorite Disney princesses, in a new light. I played it safe and didn’t get too much into her relationship with Li Shang. If I did speak of their relationship, I would have had to say she married her father. Mulan married a strikingly similar man, a stoic man who is a war hero, who cares deeply for Mulan, even if she is not what they want her to be. Both  Li Shang and father rejected her, but they find themselves accepting her in the end. We marry our parents. I think that is a common fact even when we don’t want to or worse, we become them. All the things that they said or did, we do in our ways. A common phrase I hear among millennials “Ugh, I’m turning into my mom” or “I am acting just like my dad” I was afraid to add this portion because I did not want to ruin my beloved Mulan. I would feel the same if I wrote about Cinderella or Tiana. I’m afraid of ruining the women who had inspired me to keep pushing and never give up. It may sound corny, but I look up to those ladies, and I did not want to ruin what they gave me by burrowing deep into their stories psych. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. 

The paper, overall, is not one of my best works, although I tried to make it. Maybe if I had worked on it more, but I felt as if I wrapped her story up too quickly. I did not give her the ending I was hoping to give. I wanted something stronger, something that had the audience shocked at this revelation about our brave warrior, but alas, I gave her a generic ending.  

            I question my work sometimes. I ask myself is it good enough, knowing it is or isn’t, and send it anyway. It is the anxiety of having some assess my work, which makes me wary of the words I said. It makes me wary of is my writing good enough. But can your work ever be good enough? Can it be good enough for everyone to enjoy? For all my professors to praise every word and fragment, no matter how incorrect it is? Can my work be liked even if I hate it? As someone who likes to write and analyze, these are questions I ask myself all the time. 

            Even if this was not my best paper, I know it isn’t. I still have learned. I have learned that no research is ever too much that I should test the boundaries of my writing. I have been playing it safe for too long, not diving in, into what could be a great analysis of a beautiful story.  When I write a paper, a journal entry, or a narrative, I want it to feel special, and this did not feel special. It felt generic. With every word and messed up a sentence, I have learned, and I hope not to make the same mistakes again.